I am sitting here with my back brace on trying to get over the last three days when I didn’t stop! I am listening to the song Patapan (aka Pat-a-pan) by Idol’s David Archuleta who does a very nice job with the song. Sometimes the song sounds intense, other time frantic, which is what my body feels like today. My mind is so willing to do the many things I have hopes of doing for Christmas (baking cookies, painting , etc.) but there is something really big is holding me back MY BODY!
Oh, how I often wonder what it would be like to be free...free of pain, restriction and encumbered by the nature of my body. Truth be told, I do know it is what makes me what and who I am. I am often empathetic and emotional because of the burden I carry. Like Paul of the bible I carry this thorn, but hope that it doesn’t define me, but rather improves me.
The halls have been decked for the most part. The village needs to be put up, along with the creche. The creche is something I humbled by when I put it up. I make sure that the babe is tucked away until Christmas Eve...after all he hasn’t been born yet! =-) I hope by tomorrow I will feel better. I will get done what I can get done and try not to obsess about what I have not gotten done. Letting go isn’t easy to do, until I remember for all those hopes (of cookies , etc.) I can make the time into a prayer for well being for others who will never have the living conditions I do. It is a matter of looking at life in perspective. Christmas is a “season” for most, but for some, like myself, it is a way of life.
I am reminded of so many who find sadness and hurt during this time of year. Lonely times, sad times, grief times and times of being lost in their own life. It easier to imagine than you think. Take your home. The warmth, the food on the table, the heat, the roof...imagine it all gone and with no hopes of it returning in the very near future. Think of being without a home that has happiness and joy. Fear and hurt is all you’ve known, how do you learn to appreciate the joy of Christmas when it should be with you everyday? How do you cope with the loss of ability to say these are my blessings?
So, even if I do complain sometimes, and do give in to resting I am always reminded that there are so many others with greater issues and pains. My heart tenders toward them when I in pain. Because I am physical pain, I am reminded of others who feel pain as well. Particularly for those who do not have the hope and faith of God, His Son and the Holy Spirit. How alone one would feel if this was the case.
*
**
*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment