This is a cross over post from my other blog 

http://renderingsofarenaissancewoman.blogspot.com/
Renderings of a Renaissance Woman

I'll Never Walk Alone

When you see long gaps in blogs you wonder, what is going on with this chick?  

Well, long story short (at least for now) back in the spring of 2014 I was diagnosed with colon cancer.  I was blessed in many ways with this.  I know that sounds strange but timing was perfect.  If I had my test on the planned original surgical date, I would have been clean and would not have another test for 10 years!!!  In that ten year time I would have had to have most likely developed symptoms and the cancer would be quite developed.  My cancer literally grew into cancer in the short time between the two colonoscopies; about two weeks.

I had originally was suppose to have my routine colonoscopy back in the summer of 2013 but I came down with a cold and I had to reschedule.  I was told they were booking out and was asked to call in December.  No problem.  Who doesn't want to delay the "pooper scope" anyway.  I did call in December (I am rather good like that) and they didn't have an opening until May.  So on my birthday in May of 2014 I had colonoscopy #1.  Although I had no polyp's (yea!) there was a fold in the colon and so the doctor took several samples.  The samples were "inconclusive" and I was asked to take another test immediately.  I was currently non symptomatic; I had no indications there was anything wrong.  So, the area was marked with a tattoo and many more tissue samples were taken in the second procedure.  Within a week I got a call from the doctor that everyone dreads.  I had cancer.  If I had not a cold back in 2013, I would be in a very dire situation.

I do plan on explaining this journey in more detail in this blog and also in my other blog 

 

http://renderingsofarenaissancewoman.blogspot.com/ 
Renderings of a Renaissance Woman
In fact, my plan is to write two biblical studies.  One for Advent and another for Lent.

 

For now, I am in remission but, I also live with cancer cells in my body.  Last week I had a ultrasound on my thyroid, which showed a node which appears hard.  So, I should know next week when I will go in for my biopsy.  For at least the next 3 years I am at a high risk.  My doctors are staying on top of things, now I need to do the same.  It sometimes hard juggling doctors, blood work, test, visits and yet also take care of my spiritual being and my walk and relationship with God.

God Intervention

I am in need of a God intervention.  I am scared (pain, although I do have a very high tolerance) I am frightened that I will not die well.  I have been with individuals who were bitter and angry to the end, and those who saw family members who have past surrounding them, preparing them to pass the bridge from Earthly life to eternal life.  I desire to be like those individuals that when the time comes who will come to terms and face death and reconciliation with God with an overwhelming grace, warmth and peace. 

 

I Am Waiting

 

 

I have made a vow to my self to live each day as it is, a gift.  I cannot tell the time, the date, nor the hour.  I cannot even say it will be cancer that takes me.

Today, as I came to this conclusion, I was listening to some music from a link on my Face Book account.  What I came to were a few songs that just slapped me and answered that silent prayer I was forming. I sure was having a hard time feeling Him at times. Cancer is nothing if not confusing.  It drives me nuts the way it plays with one's feelings.  In remission?   Yes.  Still have cancer?  Yes.  it sounds like an oxymoron.  This is explained better in my "bigger story" which I am currently working on.

So, now to the purpose of my post.  As I said I am waiting.  Now, I am not the most patient of gals and I am terrible with an endless case of "what if...."  I was functioning, but, I was missing something.

So Sings My Soul

Music and lyrics have always found me.  I often did not even know I was seeking.  I was just listening to music when I heard this, one of a few songs that seemed to speak to my heart.  Singing what I could not say.  Words that are like angel wings.. softly caressing my fears until they find a unimaginable peace.  It is like the first time you hear a song and say "that is a great song" It goes beyond being a good listening song, or dancing, grooving or driving song.  It is almost like a key that has been found and the turning of the lock releases a treasure of comfort!  It becomes supernatural in nature because it can touch your soul.

This song is so comforting and I know I will be needing it, maybe you will too.  I need to trust in God and his strong foundation.

http://renderingsofarenaissancewoman.blogspot.com/
Renderings of a Renaissance Woman

You'll Never Walk Alone

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

 Walk on walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk

You'll never walk
You'll never walk alone 

http://www.metrolyrics.com/youll-never-walk-alone-lyrics-ge…
Read more: Gerry And The Pacemakers - You´ll Never Walk Alone Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Gerry And The Pacemakers - You´ll Never Walk Alone Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Lyrics to 'You´ll Never Walk Alone' by Gerry And The Pacemakers. When you walk through a storm / Hold your head up high / And don't be afraid of the dark / At

metrolyrics.com

Posted by Ginny (aka Mia Burke) at 4/22/2015 10:35:00 PM No comments:

The Ghost of Fear

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I was caught off guard with the slamming of my hope and joy on to the tiled bathroom.  Splintering into shards of raw emotion ripping through my weakened reserve.  I quickly sucked in a breath as my lips quivered uncontrolled as I tried to get myself to walk out the bathroom door.  My husband had taken the day off.  He was not use to seeing me break down but today was not one day that I could keep up the facade that he had grown accustomed to.  I usually kept these emotions that could break me at bay when Chris was not around.  It wasn’t fair to drag him with me down that slippery slope called depression.  I have been fortunate that he had been spared many of these emotional times of mine.

I was scared. When I came out of the chemo induced coma and my life would never be the same.  There were still cancer cells in my body, at least there was a very good chance they still existed.  With only getting two treatments I wondered what could that have possibly done?  Speaking with a very astute doctor in Boston reminded me not to underestimate what could have happened.  The chemo was in my body too long for my body to function against the destruction that was happening to my brain.  Because it was in by body so long the treatment could have indeed worked.

Usually I hold on fiercely to that and function with all the rest to the back door of my brain.  But today as I shower I go over the place where the chemo port had been in my body is still tender from being removed.

It was flooded with the realization that the next month would have been the last of my chemo treatments and that God willing all those isolated cancer cells would have been destroyed.  Instead I will be taking a test in the next two weeks to see if the cancer has grown or developed.  Slap.  In reality of “what next” flooded my already raw emotions.  

I had fought hard to come out of that coma.  Fully believing that had I not fought I would have died.  So I wondered why did I live (a miracle in itself) if I were just to get cancer again.

There was no way I would go through this day without  breaking down.  So, as best as I could muster I told my husband that I was having and emotional day.  I told him my fear.  Fear of pain and of suffering.  Of receiving one miracle after the other all my life to come down to watching and waiting my whole life long.  I was a hot mess.

He let me be.  He made me lunch, he cuddled me, he not just embraced my body but surrounded my tender soul with hope only a love one can give.  It can be all pretend, but you choose to allow yourself to be encouraged and the fear begins to be once again be pushed down, covered and stomped on.  Until the next time.

You both live in this almost pretend world.  Your trust in God is still strong because you know it truly is in His hands.  You trust Him and know that when that time does come, that the hand that reaches for you, will remove the pain, the fear and suffering.   This door is for you, not just to exit, but to enter as His perfect being.  

It is days like these that I pray forward.  That tender facade is stronger than I can imagine.  It let’s me put one foot in front of the other.  Embracing each day and making different priorities in my life that I pray I can reach.  They are not far reaching, but like a brisk walk on the fall day it feels good when you are participating in something worth while. Yet, you wonder if it makes a difference.  Dare I hope?

It haunts me.  Like a ghost who roams, my thoughts fly forward and backward as I gather control of my feelings.  I know that during these times one would not be surprised about these moments of depression considering what the facts are.  But, to me it all reminds me of a ghost  that walks the hallways trying for a different outcome, only to continue to be on the hamster wheel not knowing enough to get themselves off.  Or, have I eventually learned enough not to participate in this dizzying practice to begin with.

I am tired.  I will go to bed and say prayers while holding a rosary.  A relic  of my childhood I now find comfort in using them to center and guide me while I say those repetitive prayers.  Feeling better after each one, I begin to doze.  I will sleep soon and pray that I have a good night for sleeping (because these are getting harder to come by as well)  A small reprieve from the internal clock I feel ticking inside.  I relax and breath deliberately and as I say my last prayer. I know He knows me by name.  I know he has been beside me since the day of my birth.  Maybe wondering what I would accomplish with that free will he so lovingly imparted.  Because of this free will, we choose to love Him and desire to be loved back.  All the way back to the essence of our soul.

Tonight I will feel the love and for now I will be satisfied that I live for today and must learn that this will be my way of life.  Blessed even during fear and the haunting thoughts from the back of my brain.  For now, that is okay.

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I know the first rule in having a blog, is to write in it.  It has been so long and I could have written but like an old friend I would love to hear from  until we all snug in like bears in the winter.  But, I cannot forget the fall!  Fall has always been my favorite season.  Not that Christmas is diminished at all in my heart.  But, with fall it is the physical surroundings that tug at my heart.  this year we had a long spring, a bit of a cooler summer than usual (except for a couple of heat-waves, here in New England that is 3 days of 90 degree heat. )  Now fall had decided to give off it's sparkle a bit early, well actually I think it will be

Spent loads of time on the patio (our second living room) which most nights I will find my husband out there reading.  Even now as we loose about 1 and half minutes  of daylight and the kidding phrase of our youth "you need to be in by the time the street lights come on.  He looks at me and flashes his I pad toward me and smiles that smile that is both mischievous and evil at the same time.  I can't really complain, he is a pretty special guy and cooks more often than ever.  Oh, that is right I have not shared the biggest news of the spring, summer, fall .

When I showed up at my orthopedic doctors for shots in my malformed shoulders.  It had been months of not really sleeping and if I was to go to go to bed I would wake up with these sneak attacks.....I must stop now because I am literally falling asleep into the keyboards.  Forgive me  I will follow up quickly.... until next time

Crying Over Spilt Milk Cake

In my adventurous nature, I decided to try a new recipe; some thing rather different for me.  I have had the recipe once before, but mine wasn’t quite the same.  The demon was called Tres Leches (Milk Cake) which means three milk cake. 

Now there were three different versions on the net.  I tried the one that I thought looked interesting (I can see the horns on that devil now).  It has whole milk, sweetened condensed milk and evaporated milk and not to mention cream.  Now this cake is SUPPOSED to be moist and can I tell you mine was a bit like a brick? Okay give me some mortar and I will build a wall with this thing.  It tasted fine, but dense, more like a 10-"pound" cake.

Not that I didn’t try.  There was a whole can of condensed milk and a small can of evaporated milk that you pour on the cake after it is baked.  I stabbed the cake with gusto and with anticipation. I was loving the custard sort of taste the milk made. 

We even waited until the next day to make sure all the ingredients were soaked in well.  I took the cake out and whipped my cream with powdered sugar and frosted.  For a extra nice look I added roasted cinnamon on top.  It looked great.  It tasted okay (I say this in a generous way), but it was not light and fluffy at all.  It was sort of moist and not at all what I was expecting.  So today I poured more milk over the top.  We will see if it taste better.

Fortunately, my husband is a great “experiment eater”.  He liked the cake even if he had to slice it up! What a guy.  I suspect he is waiting until this cake is done so I can do the recipe from the Pioneer Woman website called “knock you naked brownies”.  The brownies sound so great, and dessert like.  But I will absolutely refuse to get naked!  Unless, of course it is 88 degrees again!  Wait maybe it is like knocking your socks off... only more so.... I better think on this.  Maybe hubby and I should do a trial run! LOL  Anyway, he finds redeeming factors in just about anything I cook or bake.  So, even a as dense as a brick, it was pronounced "good".

As it turned out, I picked the first day of higher temps.  We’ve been getting temps in the 60’s (unusual) and suddenly we jumped passed the 70’s right into the 80’s.  It is was 86 and hot hot hot!  Ok, now it was a labor not just of love but of sweat.  Geeze.

So, what do you do when your disappointed in a dessert you spent good money to make and something you were drooling over?

I guess I will try another one of the recipes, one with less than 9-( count ‘em) eggs.  The horrible part of the whole deal was the eggs, they had to be separated.  If you ask my husband I can break a egg yolk just by looking at it.  A master of fried eggs sunny side up, I am not.  But, thankfully they all came out great.  Of course that could be attributed to the fresh eggs from one of my church friends.  Some were a lovely shade of blue.  Made me think....hmmmmmmm why color eggs when you can buy’em that way.  I digress....as usual.

Well, that is all I am  gong to say on the subject of Spilt Milk Cake.  Live and learn I say.  I also live by the mantra “Change is Good” so I am going to try this recipe again, when my cholesterol goes down (only kidding, my cholesterol is great)

Until then, I will  grab a glass of milk and a bunch of Oreo cookies and pat myself on the back for finding a delicious alternative until I brave this recipe again.

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Easter, a Season of Surprises

Every year I look at the time of Lent as a time of renewal, reflection and renewal.  Easter for me is just not candy eggs and little girls in pretty frocks and women in flowered hats.

I have been brought up to believe in the wonder of Christmas, but as an adult I realized the power of Easter, when we are ALL born again.

It is easy to find yourself engulfed in the power of Christmas.  It is a season of hope, faith, peace.  It was through this birth that we Christians have become a “people”.  All is calm, all is bright.  But, it is during those tender times I remember the phrase about Mary, Jesus’ mother.  “she took all these things unto her heart and pondered them”.  Did she know of Calvary?  Did she know that she would loose her son, in order to gain a Son?

Every Christmas I shed a tear...... I cry sometimes because I realize I am the last of my immediate family.  I cry sometimes because I feel like an orphan.  But, I always cry because I know the fate of this little boy, all for the sake of me.

Easter is not one day, it is a season.  Lent.  Have we wrapped our heads around this?  In my younger years I practiced the discipline of denial.  Oh, how I held off on sweets until Easter and then gobbled up every one of those chocolate eggs!  Now, as a person of mature faith I find that Easter is a perfect season to give, to change, to pray what direction God wants my resources to go?  Can I not bring some sunshine?  A phone call, a card a kind word or two.  Make a donation to something or someone.  Invite someone to lunch?  This, for me, is sharing God. 

How do you explain the God who loves me like no other?

The only human thought I can connect Calvary with is one of a parent and child.  Would you not give all you have to save your child?  Would you not demonstrate your love in appreciation?

Surprise yourself this Season of Lent.  Take quiet time and reflect.  I mean really reflect.  Take the fullness of the season and pray for God to reveal how he wants you “walk the walk”.  During this time of self reflection, touch another with the power of the Holy Spirit that walks within you.

I lead a lot of Bible study classes and one of my favorite questions “are you a Christmas person?”  I am not speaking of the obvious, but hinting toward the spiritual.  Even more so, I ask of myself “am I an Easter Person?”  How do you thank someone for a sacrifice such as this?  You can’t.  What you can is do things in the spirit of love, faith, and peace.

All I ask is that you look into your heart and remember that Easter begins with Lent.  A season to cry, change and yes celebrate!
How can you share this?  Anyway you can.  Big or small.  Taking small steps of kindness to others, while wondering where God is going to lead you.

On Easter day I stand in the pew and during the fist chorus of “Christ the Lord Has Risen Today” I use to cry because of the harshness of mankind actually killed the Son.  Now I cry in thankfulness.  I will be with Christ in eternity.  God’s gift to man, that we should love for an eternity and be loved.

My, my what a surprise.  How can you not feel blessed?
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The Christmas Tree and 'Till the Season Comes 'Round Again

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One of my all time favorite Christmas Albums is an oldie.  Kenny Rogers “The Gift”  The songs that were on that CD resonated with me to an incredible extent.  It contained songs of faith, joy and change.  It was the first time I heard some new classics.  “Mary did you Know” and “Till the Season Comes ‘Round Again”.  That particular CD was filled with songs of grace that just took me to a closer walk with God.

I came to focus on 'Till the Season Comes 'Round Again because for several years I had been in what I call “Christmas mourning”.  My family had all passed.  I had a niece, who I still maintained a good relationship with, but at that time she was busy with her own life, which is the way it should be. Then I remember an incident from several years prior that reminds me about the beauty and blessing of Christmas.

Christmas had always been my fathers time.  When he died, when I was junior in high school (in March), my mother and last living brother decided they would not celebrate Christmas.  I was a 17 year old girl who knew the greatest gift my father gave me was the wonder and beauty of Christmas.  But, I was a child.  How could I reconcile the wishes of my mother?  One evening both my brother and mother were out.  I was filled.  Filled with the love of a father who had always made me feel loved and cherished.  I was filled with conviction suddenly, I now know was the Holy Spirit was moving in me.

I am a pretty small gal.  I have a form of dwarfism which makes me a little over 4 feet.  How was I going to get the Christmas tree (artificial) was sitting in pieces on top of a freezer in the cellar.  We had a split level home at the time and can you say stairs?  Well, with power I cannot comprehend, I got the tree down.  I wrestled this seven foot box up those stairs.  I then went about putting the tree together.  Getting the boxes of decorations was a lot easier task.  Now, I am not real great with the top of the tree decorating.  For obvious reasons I could climb a ladder, but with shorten limbs leaning into a 6 foot tree could topple me pretty easy.

After a half hour, the tree was assembled, except the task of putting on the top.  I had hung ornaments and strung lights to the first two pieces, bringing me to the top part which was about as tall as me.  What I did was decorate the top, while it was on the floor.  I uprighted it and including the star I decorated that top part just like a small tree.  Now, the hard part......  getting a fully decorated top picked up and placed on the now finished base.  Suddenly I felt like the Grinch when he get’s the blessing of feeling his heart grow three times its own size, along with the strength as well.  One big heave and a prayer said, the top placed almost as if one was guiding me (One was).

I tucked the extra lights (had to leave quite a few to facilitate the decorating I just did).  I threw tinsel to the top and decorated the rest.  I pushed the base back into the place in front of the bank of windows in the front.  I continued to place the candles in the windows.

I do have to say I was exhausted.  Since, I have never done such a physically difficult thing.  Can I tell you I was amazed at myself?  I think I was!

About an hour later both my mother and brother came home.  By now it was dark and the lights could be seen from the outside.  As my mother came up the stairs she just stared.  David was to come in very shortly after.  After a lot of questions on how I did this or that (and a bit of relief there was no hostility) I made this comment (and I can remember it to this day, over thirty days later)..... “Dad loved Christmas, the best way to honor him is to keep it”.  Neither said anything.  Smiles came to the faces gradually.  To this day, because I didn’t question them, I don’t know if they were okay with this because of me or because of dad.  Or, maybe it was because it was obvious something supernatural was there for me to be able to accomplish this.  It became a quiet understanding that we would never not celebrate Christmas.  Christmas was bigger than the sum of our depression, loss and maybe even anger.  My father knew it was special on so many levels maybe now we could too.

It is now a sweet memory.  Mom and David have long passed.  Even when David passed on a December day years later, I knew I would celebrate for different reasons....because the birth of a Babe.  I had come far in my spiritual walk.  Although sadden, I did celebrate.  Not that it was easy, but it was what it is:  A time to remember and appreciate.

So, here I come now to the song.... It was the lines 'Til the next time I see you again, If we must say goodbye Let the spirit go with you And we'll love and we'll laugh In the time that we had 'Til the season comes 'round again.

Appreciate your life, your family.  Each day does not guarantee a tomorrow.  But, if you have lost those whom you love, remember that you will love and laugh again....when the “season” (your reunion in Heaven) comes ‘round again.

This song has been recorded by many, Amy Grant has a lovely version, but Kenny Rogers version will always remain special in my heart.  Let it find a place in your heart too!

'Till the Season Comes 'Round Again

Come and gather around at the table
In the spirit of family and friends
And we'll all join hands and remember this moment
'Til the season comes 'round again

Let's all try to smile for the picture
And we'll hold it as long as we can
May it carry us through
Should we ever get lonely
'Til the season comes 'round again

CHORUS
One night holy and bright
Shining with love from our hearts
By a warm fire,
Let's lift our heads high
And be thankful we're here
'Til this time next year

May the new year be blessed
With good tidings
'Til the next time I see you again
If we must say goodbye
Let the spirit go with you
'Til the season comes 'round again

CHORUS

May the new year be blessed with good tidings
'Til the next time I see you again
If we must say goodbye
Let the spirit go with you
And we'll love and we'll laugh
In the time that we had
'Til the season comes 'round again

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Christmas Patapan and oh my aching back!

I am sitting here with my back brace on trying to get over the last three days when I didn’t stop!  I am listening to the song Patapan (aka Pat-a-pan) by Idol’s  David Archuleta who does a very nice job with the song.  Sometimes the song sounds intense, other time frantic, which is what my body feels like today.  My mind is so willing to do the many things I have hopes of doing for Christmas (baking cookies, painting , etc.) but there is something really big is holding me back MY BODY!

Oh, how I often wonder what it would be like to be free...free of pain, restriction and encumbered by the nature of my body.  Truth be told, I do know it is what makes me what and who I am.  I am often empathetic and emotional because of the burden I carry.  Like Paul of the bible I carry this thorn, but hope that it doesn’t define me, but rather improves me.

The halls have been decked for the most part.  The village needs to be put up, along with the creche.  The creche is something I humbled by when I put it up.  I make sure that the babe is tucked away until Christmas Eve...after all he hasn’t been born yet!  =-)  I hope by tomorrow I will feel better.  I will get done what I can get done and try not to obsess about what I have not gotten done.  Letting go isn’t easy to do, until I remember for all those hopes (of cookies , etc.) I can make the time into a prayer for well being for others who will never have the living conditions I do.  It is a matter of looking at life in perspective.  Christmas is a “season” for most, but for some, like myself, it is a way of life.

I am reminded of so many who find sadness and hurt during this time of year.  Lonely times, sad times, grief times and times of being lost in their own life.  It easier to imagine than you think.  Take your home.  The warmth, the food on the table, the heat, the roof...imagine it all gone and with no hopes of it returning in the very near future.  Think of being without a home that has happiness and joy.  Fear and hurt is all you’ve known, how do you learn to appreciate the joy of Christmas when it should be with you everyday?  How do you cope with the loss of ability to say these are my blessings?

So, even if I do complain sometimes, and do give in to resting I am always reminded that there are so many others with greater issues and pains.  My heart tenders toward them when I in pain.  Because I am physical pain, I am reminded of others who feel pain as well.  Particularly for those who do not have the hope and faith of God, His Son and the Holy Spirit.  How alone one would feel if this was the case. 
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PRAYERS

In our times there is so much need and sadness.  When there is hope there is faith, where there is faith there is hope. 

Prayer gives you the chance to practice the belief that God exist in this world and that we are not on some random path.  There is order to this world and although we may not enjoy being on the path we are currently on, we do not walk that path alone.

Prayer.  Wikipedia states Prayer is a form of religious practice that seeks to activate a volitional connection to a god or spirit through deliberate practice.  I have some issues with the definition.  Although, it can be noted as “deliberate” because there is an intent, prayer also becomes part of the fabric of who you are.  Sometimes I have simplified it by calling it a Holy Habit.  Very often I will just say is me having a dialog and kinship with God the Father.

It has long become a part of who I am.  I have people come up to me and say they don’t know how to pray.  I am sometimes sadden by that.  How far away do they feel Jesus is?  Is He not sitting beside me in my grief?  Walking me along a difficult path?  I could not go a day without that dialog than breathe.  Is that prayer?  You bet’cha.

Those fellows who know oh so much more than I have broken down prayers in “parts”.  I have decided to list some and have put a more “Ginny” slant to them.  To make them more like my own intention.

This may help someone who wonders where to begin, and how to continue to pray, or dialog with God and our Savior.

Prayers of Petition:  Asking.  Often I am asking for patience or even sometimes hope.  I am personally the one in need.  I need you God right now to help me.  Sustain me through these difficult times I am in.  We are acknowledging that God 1. Listens  2.  Hears.  You may have noted that I didn’t list “Answer” because I truly believe sometimes that is subjective.  What my answer may be may not be what I need.  I may get another answer, one I may not like as much, nonetheless the one I am intended too have and one that will take me to a place of learning and grace.  Asking God for something can be difficult.  I have heard more than once that “God knows what I need”, which is very true.  But, God desires a relationship with me.  There is also the underlying truth that if we first don’t acknowledge that God is in power, we may not also acknowledge that God is the giver.

Prayer of Confession:  In the Catholic church I was brought up to confess to a priest.  There is some biblical proof for this stance.  On the other hand there are other denominations that leave confession between you and God alone.  The latter is a whole lot easier, that is IF we do it.  Asking for forgiveness is often not in one’s favorite things, neither is it pleasant.  I believe it shouldn’t be either.  The goal is forgiveness.  I know one of the hardest things for me is to forgive myself.  It takes a deep abiding believe that God hears and listens to be assured that he has forgiven me.  To feel the cleansing of the prayer of confession may take many years, or even a lifetime.  Meanwhile, God has heard and forgiven, now if we would just forgive ourselves.  I remind myself that God knows my heart.  If I confess I must confess with a heart bearing all.  To be contrite and penitent.  I go not intending on making the same mistake again.  At least we try.  But, as I say God knows our heart but, he also knows our weaknesses.


Prayers of Adoration:  Oh how often do you say you love God to HIM?  Do you thank him for the clouds you saw today and acknowledge that they come from Him.  Even in the times more dire do we praise Jesus for his sacrifice.  A sacrifice that is so much more than we can repay?  How humble are you to God.  When you have a friend you thank, you thank them for what they do, say or how they have loved you.  Jesus Christ did this and so much more.  How about remembering?  In the good times and bad “Come let us adore him”


Prayers of Intercession:  A prayer on behalf of others.  In my church we have a prayer list that I call “prayer warriors”.  We pray for those who’s needs are brought forward.  We sometimes do not know what the need even is, only that there is one.  To pray for the ones you do not know is almost more important.  The bible says that it is easy to love the lovable,but prayer is even more important to those we don’t know or even those we find unlovable. Prayers of intercession can change our hardened heart as well.  Take it from one who knows.  Prayers of intercession are powerful and can gather those in a powerful voice.  Those who cannot pray for themselves depend upon people like you and I.  I fully believe prayers by others for others surrounds the one prayed for in a bubble of love.  Feeling the love through prayer is like no other feeling.  The closest I can describe it is like being held in God’s hands like a child.  You feel protected, loved and assured.  Even if things are dire, you are loved all the way to the end of what ever is going to happen.

There are other “prayers” but these are a few.  Pray for the Glory of Him, Pray for Others, Pray for yourself.   Be humble before God, be thankful before God.  Love one another and pray for each other.


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"Strange Way To Save The World"

It came upon me how God uses the unlikely. 

Through the years I have been blessed to find my calling in life through various works, with the calling of the Holy Spirit.  But, how does one find that out about themselves.  How do they individually fulfill God’s plan?

In a time of oppression and suffering His people called upon Him to send not just a messenger nor prophet, they called and ached for a Messiah, a Christ.  Even with their tears and prayers they could not have imagined how God would bless the world with His only Son.  His people looked to an Earthly king, a man of war, a great warrior.  Instead they got a man of peace and prayer.  They, a prayerful people, didn’t get what they expected. 

Mean time they went along.  I can’t imagine how they felt, longing for a savior who was promised but had not come.  Did they feel lost?  Deserted?  Defeated?  I suppose like people today, they may have.  But hope abided.  They knew they had an awesome God, But I would guess they didn’t know that they had a God who’s plan included a baby.

This song tells of Joseph looking inward and wondering.....  He had encounters with angels and took a wife that others may have let be stoned.  He was a man  of compassion and understanding.  He was a forgiving man.  He initially had no knowledge of Mary and her story.  Yet he looked to her with a compassion, truly God given.  How confused he must of felt.  Unworthy, certainly; confused definitely.

As he went along his life it became clear his life was so much more than he ever knew.  I have often told people that they are often unaware of their gifts given in God’s love or the fact that has a mission and a plan for their lives.  So many people think they are just “living”. To some extent that is true, we all feel that.  But we are of great sacred worth and value to God, as much as Joseph and Mary.  They were ordinary people, living a life of spiritual hope and Godly love.  Yet God has chosen you as much as he has chosen them.

Where you do not physically have His Son, you walk for His Son.  You are the manifestation of The One who loves you more than you love yourself.

Yes, indeed God did choose a “Strange Way to Save the World”.  He chose the most humanly understandable way there was.  A child is born helpless and requires love and tenderness to grow.  A child needs to be nurtured and guided.  Jesus had His Father in Heaven and his earthly parents.  God gives us children in confirmation of a lingering hope for mankind.  God trust us to show them the way as he showed His own Son.

How ordinary.  A birth of a child. 

I know of a gal who is pregnant with her fifth child.  She is a Godly woman who raises Godly children.  I can see in the eyes of her children the promise of so much.  That they will one day rule this nation, and care for those like me.  This isn’t easy always, but it certainly is Godly.

What will your children grow to be?  What will your grandchildren, nieces and nephews be?  Ordinary maybe, but in many ways so was Jesus.  He was fully man, like our children.  He carried the same emotions and trials that children often do.  It may be hard to put Jesus in that picture.  But, think of it.  A mom, dad and child doing the best they can.  Living each day in worship with God, surprised by their callings, open to His leadings.

Yes, it was strange.  For a people who wanted a warrior king, they got a Prince of Peace.  His power continues to unfold each and every day.  Not by the sword, but by the love.  How were they to know that a babe born in Bethlehem could save the world from itself?

I sing praises of glory that He did.


This song is sung by 4Him and is on the WOW Christmas CD


"Strange Way To Save The World"

Sure he must have been surprised
At where this road had taken him
'Cause never in a million lives
Would he had dreamed of Bethlehem
And standing at the manger
He saw with his own eyes
The message from the angel come to life
And Joseph said...

Why me, I'm just a simple man of trade
Why Him, with all the rulers in the world
Why here inside a stable filled with hay
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl
Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world

To think of how it could have been
If Jesus had come as He deserved
There would have been no Bethlehem
No lowly shepherds at His birth
But Joseph knew the reason
The love had to reach so far
And as he held the Savior in his arms
He must have thought.

Why me, I'm just a simple man of trade
Why Him, with all the rulers in the world
Why here inside a stable filled with hay
Why her, she's just an ordinary girl
Now I'm not one to second guess what angels have to say
But this is such a strange way to save the world


..
A Strange Way to Save the World
4Him
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Come to the Table

Well, it is finished.  I have just completed (along with a great committee) the cookbook for our church.  It is 750 recipes and was a venture of love!

We went into this last January and with hopes of having 400 recipes, but our church rallied and we have a wonderful cookbook to show for it.  Now, let's hope it get's here in time for our church fair.

One of the many things that came out of this was the title, "Come to the Table".  Well, that phrase is often used by my pastor and has come to mean so many things to our congregation.

Come to the Table...to eat, to feed, to refresh, to fellowship, to nourish, to experience, to share, to pray.

It has become a phrase of inclusion on every level.  The basic most primal thing a human being needs to do is eat.  But, to nourish is truly not "living by bread alone".

So many times church communities turn toward each other, and no other.  It happens so frequently you may not notice.  And that is sad...not noticing.  The person who sits next to you may be in pain and anguish and you may not notice.  You have not "invited" them to share of your food, your company or your journey with Jesus?

This weekend marks the beginning of the new Church School year.  With it comes an open invitation to "Come to the Table".  Experience what it is like to be part of a community of people who will come to care for you.

Or, even better ask someone to Come to the Table at your place.  Share your life with them, open your heart to them. 

We remember that Christ ate with the sinner and the saint.  He came to save and we can assist. 

Something wonderful happens when you break bread with someone.  Because it is very primal, it becomes something of remembered memory.

In our church cookbook there is a scripture page in the beginning.  I find that these verses are a good way to remember what it means to "feed" and bring the table to another.

Matthew 25:31-40

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.

 Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

 "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'


So, there.  Come to the Table, even better if you have partaken of the table, bring another.  It is only when we do this that we can truly know the character and love of Jesus.