God's Been Doubly Good To You
I know it has been ages since I have written last. I have been busy with graduations, birthdays, weddings, showers.... spring and early summer is a busy time of year! I have been going through these events and wondering how God’s has been in them. Among one of those has also been a breakup of a marriage of someone very close to my husband and I. I was caught quite off guard about this, although my dear husband was not. Seeing the glass always half full sometimes leaves me blind to struggling unspoken. Being the type of person I am, I just sort of wear my heart, life, soul and faith on my sleeve. I tend to think others do the same, they do not.
This couple involves two people who we love dearly. There comes a point where you need to decide how you, personally, are going to take the news. You cannot be responsible how others do, but as for yourself you make conscious decisions that will affect the future relationships you have left, once all has fallen down and two lives begin to be rebuild. Thankfully these individuals decided to take the high road and their intent is to be respectful and fair, especially for their child. Children in the mix can be so stressful.
Children tend to take failure of marriage upon themselves. They don’t know how, really...but often reach for any infraction they have made over the past year and put failure upon themselves. It is a terrible time, in that moment when they hear “we are going to separate, and then divorce”. Kids fill in blanks if they are not told and reassured.
So, back to my loved couple. I have been through divorce in my family, but it has been infrequent. I know when Chris and I were in meetings with the priest (we got married in the Catholic church I grew up in, but found a Methodist church to fellowship together) there were certain things that, as married people, we were expected to do. For each other, for God. The intentions are true and real. But, as a couple of 22 year olds, I can honestly say we have changed into completely (Thank GOD!) people over the past 30 years. What we started out as innocents and grew to learning to compromise, learning to love in all situations. Our marriage is of constant communication and growth and respect.
But, there are times when those changes are so dramatic, sometimes so tragic that they leave only a whisper of the person we fell in love with. If indeed the love that was found was a forever kind. I know being brought up Catholic I am by church laws to stay forever faithful to a marriage. Reality is that we are human and we make human mistakes. It is when you are connected with a true soulmate then you know that it forever and eternity. A love that surpasses human constraints that follows you into the heaven of God. Blessed by God with God firmly between you. The diagram I use is Chris holding God’s hand, God holding my hand. Firmly planted between us, connecting us. But, that is me, that is us.
These two individuals I have found have another road. The road brought them together to have a good marriage for a time. During those times there was a dear child and I can honestly say that she (his wife) did save him from a life of uncertain outcome. She gave him not just a child. She gave him love, a purpose and a friend. She stood beside him while he struggled with many physical issues and became a saving grace for those of us in the family who knew he needed someone.
Now comes the end. Am I upset? Well, sort of. Am I mad. No. What I am trying to do is look at the whole situation through the eyes of love. I love both of them. I love their child. They are both welcome in my home and even if they should find another, then they both are STILL welcomed in my home.
So, how can I do this where others cannot (Chris, by the way thinks much in the same way that I do).
One, they fell out of love and have been together for almost a decade after this happened.
Two, they tried. You cannot say that this is fast when it has existed for eight years.
Three, dividing loyalties and yes, love, does no one any good, especially their child.
Four, I am not the judge of all.
Five, letting go may enable them to find some happiness for the rest of their lives.
Six, people deserved to be loved, respected and cherished. When that stops happening you must try to resolve the issues. If not resolvable do you convict someone to a relationship like a prison?
Seven, when you begin to resent then you must resolve.
Eight, not all ended marriages were “mistakes” (who would dare say a child from a marriage is a mistake!) Timing is everything....they were just not in what I would view in “God’s time“.
Finally, We are not called to do anything but love.
So there I go with that half full glass again. I pray that both these individuals find a forever love. I pray that God has a part in their love. I pray that someday that when this is all passed, that their child would have respect and love for both parents.
In listening to this song I realized that this is what we all want and desire. In fact it is God’s desire for us to be happy! So, I leave you with the lyrics and the music and in wonder..... what does God have in store next?
Doubly Good To You
(Rich Mullins)
If you see the moon
Rising gently on your fields
If the wind blows softly on your face
If the sunset lingers
While the cathedral bells peal
And the moon has risen to her place
You can thank the Father
For the things he has done
Thank Him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
If you look in the mirror
At the end of a hard day
And you know in your heart you have not lied
If you gave love freely
If you earned an honest wage
And if you've got Jesus by your side
You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
(Rich Mullins)
If you see the moon
Rising gently on your fields
If the wind blows softly on your face
If the sunset lingers
While the cathedral bells peal
And the moon has risen to her place
You can thank the Father
For the things he has done
Thank Him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
If you look in the mirror
At the end of a hard day
And you know in your heart you have not lied
If you gave love freely
If you earned an honest wage
And if you've got Jesus by your side
You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
You can thank the father
For the things He has done
And thank him for the things He's yet to do
And if you find a love that's tender
If you find someone who's true
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
Thank the Lord
He's been doubly good to you
